I have the weirdest dreams ever.  No really, I do.  L’s standard response after I detail to him my strange, twisted, and ridiculous dreams is “you need professional help.”  The stories often start similarly:
So we were at our house, but it wasn’t really our house.  or  I was in college, but it wasn’t [the college I went to] etc., etc., etc.
 
Now, I know I’m not the only one who has dreams like that.  But mine are always so long and involved.  And a lot of times, scary.  I often wake up and my heart is racing or I’m sweating and clutching the blankets.  It takes me quite a while to kind of calm down and realize that whatever it was that I was just dreaming, is not real.  If L is home, I usually try to wake him up and get as close as possible.  Unfortunately, for someone who is used to getting woken up in the middle of the night, when he’s home, he’s not so easy to wake up.
 
In highschool, the teacher that taught my junior year psychology class told us that dreams are how your brain “dumps” information it doesn’t need anymore.  So all those random factoids you pick up or things you see on TV, they get purged through some sort of dream.  Definitely seems to make sense in my life.  As these crazy dreams are something I’ve had my whole life, my mom often says that my mind is full of random crap that just spins round and round and round and every now and then, it spits something out and that’s what I dream about.  I think she’s right.
 
It gets tiring though.  I go through phases where I will have a (or many) whacked out dreams every night for weeks.  And then for weeks I won’t have any (well, I’m sure that I do, I just don’t remember them).  I specifically remember a time when I was at my last job and I kept having these stupid dreams and would wake up in the middle of the night and not want to go back to sleep.  I was so tired, but I felt like my brain was too “busy” when I slept.
 
The other night, I had a kind of dream that I only recall having one other time.  I woke up and I was mad at L.  SO. MAD.  I was mad because in my dream he did something that made me very mad.  And when I woke up, it took me awhile to not be mad at him.  I kept telling myself that it wasn’t true and never happened, but I was still mad.  Have you ever had a dream like that?
 
The first time was probably a couple years ago when I dreamed he had cancelled plans with me bc his best friend’s girlfriend (who is now his best friend’s fiance’) was coming into town and he wanted to go out with her instead.  (that’s the short version.  Trust me, when I told the entire dream to L, it probably took me a good 10 minutes – no joke).
 
This time I had a dream that L and I were laying in bed, each smoking a joint.  It supposedly was the first time for us and I asked him how long it was going to take before I felt high.  He said he didn’t know.  Then through a conversation about the pot, he admitted that this was not the first time that he had done it and that he had done it several times – and many were when we were “together”.  I got so angry at him.  So, so angry.  1. He had lied to me bc he always told me that he had never done that before, 2. because he had done it when we were “together” and didn’t tell me and bc he felt he needed to to make it better and 3. Why the hell would he risk his job by doing that?  He can be drug tested randomly any day.  Is he stupid?!?!  I got out of bed (in my dream) and laid on the floor to go to sleep.  He started poking me telling me it wasn’t a big deal and I should just get over it.  I went on and on about how I couldn’t trust him bc he was a liar and what was I supposed to do because we were already married, etc., etc., etc.
 
I woke up and was slid halfway down the bed, not using any pillows (typical).  I looked to my right and L was laying there, sleeping.  Heat grew in my face bc I was so mad at him for lying to me.  I looked to my left and there is Shep, laying next to me like another person (those dogs are so spoiled).  I tried to get over my anger and crawled up closer to L telling him that I just had a dream that he was smoking pot and I was mad at him.  He mumbled something I couldn’t make out, said he loved me and rolled over.
 
I fell back asleep for a couple hours before my alarm went off and when I got up, I was still a little mad.  It wore off before I left the house.  I guess because it finally sunk in that it was a dream and it wasn’t real.  I told him about the dream later that day and he said he remembered me saying something about pot and then promised me that he has never done it and never will – he’d really like to keep that job of his.
 
What’s even weirder about all of this?  As I’m telling him about the dream again, he says, “Oh yeah, did I tell you I got popped for a test at the vollies yesterday?”  The volunteer FD in our town that we’re both members of randomly selects a group of people each quarter to be drug tested and L’s name popped up this time – but he never mentioned it.  Maybe I’m a prophet! haha.
 
Am I the only one that experiences the wake-up angry dreams?  Or are there others out there (God, I hope so!).

Advertisements