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L and I have been in full wedding planning mode since he proposed. Really, just trying to find a venue and secure a date. That’s all I really care about at this point. We’re hoping for the Sunday of Labor Day weekend to give people an extra day to travel and to take advantage of the lower Sunday rates all at the same time.
I have researched and gathered pricing and availability information from everywhere in the Charlotte area. And then I did the same for the Wilmington/beach area since we want to consider that as well. Then, together, we looked at the information and the websites in detail and created a ranked spreadsheet of the different venues. We nixed any that were just too expensive and then decided on which ones we needed/wanted to look at, etc.
Last Sunday, we drove around a bunch of places doing drive bys and were able to cut a few more off the list just based on looks, etc. Then I made appointments for us to meet with some of the venues. This past Friday we went to four places, another one on Saturday and yesterday we drove to Wilmington (and back in one day – a little more than 3 hours each way) to hit a small bridal show and visit 3 other venues, plus check out some other things in the area.
Meanwhile, we also put together our guest list. It started off at close to 250 people, which is just way too high for the budget that we have. We are pretty much splitting the cost of this wedding with my parents. About 99% of our half is coming from L. It doesn’t help that I don’t have a job right now. Even so, we have about $5000 more to spend than we originally thought we would and I am very grateful to my parents for that. They are contributing a significantly greater amount than I thought they would be able to.
So we tried to cut our list down and got it to about 200. Now, going by the approximately-80%-of-your-guest-list-will-actually-come-to-your-wedding rule, we were at about 160. As we continue to look at venues, we were estimating about 130-150 guests. If it were in Wilmington, it would probably be on the lower end of that, but can’t count on that. Going through all the information from all of these venues, it’s becoming real that we can barely afford the 150 number. It would leave very little room for anything else.
I am fine with doing a lot DIY things and actually look forward to it. I pride myself on being a bargain shopper and know that will help things in the long run. The only thing I want to splurge on is photography. I would rather have a smaller wedding and have it at a nicer location or not have to worry about scraping pennies together, rather than having a huge guest list. L says that he wants a big party – the ceremony is important to him too – but he is looking forward to a big celebration with friends. He too, says that he’s fine with having a smaller guest list, but this is where it started.
As we were driving around in between appointments discussing one of the venues, I mentioned how we need to cut the list even more because I was afraid this was going to very difficult to afford this with the number that we have now. This eventually led to him saying how he can’t help it that his family is so much larger than mine and that he’s inviting hardly any friends because of that and he has cut so many people off the list that he wants to invite. He basically made me feel horribly for this and said how I’m putting this all on him and blaming him because his family is so big, etc.
At the same time, it’s not my fault that my family is smaller, allowing me to invite more friends. But let’s be clear, I really don’t have a ton of friends. I don’t know nearlyas many people as he does. And, based on the names I’ve ssen on the guest list, I really don’t know who all these people are that he wants to invite that he can’t. He says that right now his list is family and close friends and that’s it, but in my opinion, that’s what a wedding should be.
Sure, if we had 30 or 40 or $50,000 to spend on a wedding, we could invite more people who were casual friends, etc., but we don’t. Which means that we need to invite those that matter the most to us. The ones who you wouldn’t want to miss out on this special and important day.
Yesterday was our first, and what I hope is our only, fight about this process. He said that I should give him some leeway since he is paying for half of this wedding which I should just consider would be covering his large guest list. That really hurt my feelings because he always said that would be ‘our’ contribution. I know it’s his money, but it just really, really hurt my feelings the way he said it. He also through at me, that I “should see the list with all the people on it that he wants to invite and can’t. Then [I] would really see how many people [he has] cut.” And that he has cut and cut and cut and he just can’t get rid of any other people. I asked who all this family was and if it were necessary to invite others who were not considered immediately family since the only family I’m inviting is immediate. He said they are family and they have to be invited and that his mom said so too. It doesn’t help that his sister is getting married a few months before us. I asked if he reminded his mom that our budget is likely significantly less than what his sister’s is and he said he had.
In additon to our individual lists, we also have a mutual list made up of all friends. This list is not small by any means and I reminded him of this when he said that he has hardly any friends invited. I also reminded him that there was a good chunk of people on my list that should technically be on the mutual list and that he was the one who pointed that out when we created the list. If this was how he wanted to compare lists, then I was going to move those people to the mutual list.
When we got home last night, that’s why I did. I moved the mutals on my list to the mutual list and then looked at the numbers again. On his individual list, 39% of the guests were in the ‘friend’ category. On my list, 24% of the guests were in the ‘friend’ category. When I pointed this out, he said it was only because I moved a bunch of mine to the mutual list. I then reminded him, once again, that he was the one who said they should be on the mutual list.
After that, I cut even more people from my list. People that I want to be there. Some that I want to be there, but am pretty sure won’t be able to come due to distance and finances. But I cut them, since he has “made the sacrafices with this guest list.” He made a few moves and we got the total number down from 200 to 160. This made me much happier and at this point we were much more civil.
But the whole argument that happened the few hours before really annoyed me, hurt me and angered me.
First of all, I refuse to be miserable during this process. I have seen how this is frustrating me some to not be able to find someplace that we can easily afford. Perhaps now that we’ve cut the list, this will help. Based on a few prices we’ve found, this cut can save us up to $3000 which is a huge amount of money. Second, not only do I not want to be miserable, I do NOT want to argue during this process.
Sure there has been a disappointment, he doesn’t like a venue that I LOVE and think would be perfect. But we don’t argue about it. If he doesn’t like it, fine. There are other places that we both like. Am I disappointed? Absolutely. Do I think it’s a good deal and would allow us to shop around for other components and potentially save money? Yes. But I don’t want to choose a venue that he doesn’t like just because I do. Long before we ever got engaged, I told him that I didn’t want to do this planning by myself (not saying that my friends and mom wouldn’t help me), but that I wanted to do it together because it is OUR wedding.
As far as the guest list goes, he says we are on the same page. Especially with the whole would-rather-have-a-smaller-but-nicer-wedding-rather-than-a-larger-but-not-as-nice-wedding. But when it comes down to it, that’s now how he made it out. And whether I “took it the wrong way” or not, that’s how it came across.
I think we’re ok with where we are now with the guest list. I’m still very sad with three of the people (plus their husbands) that I had to cut from my list, but perhaps they can take the place of a few people I know are not able to attend.
I just want to have this part done. The venue. And the damn ceremony location – meaning, decide if it’s going to be in the same place or not and if it’s not where the heck it will be since L doesn’t want a church wedding.
Then we can move on to the fun stuff.
I still get all the gossip from my old workplace. And it just keeps getting better and better. A few weeks ago I found out they all got a 10% pay cut. Then one of my friends gave her notice and is taking on a full-time position at a part-time job she’s had. And today I saw an interesting facebook status message about lots of arguing going on in the office this morning. When I inquired, my friend told me about this huge argument that started between an account manager, the boss and a vp in the hallway where it lasted for almost an hour before they moved into the boss’ office for another hour and counting.
The interesting part about all of this is the account manager. He is not one to argue loudly. Or argue at all, really. He is an incredibly smart guy, but he’s pretty laid back. He makes it known when he doesn’t agree with something, but often times will just let it go if people are being stubborn.
While chatting back and forth with my friend about this, she sends me another message saying that she just found out that one of our other friends was laid off via a letter in the mail. Yes, in the mail. This week was her last week of maternity leave. I can’t believe he has done this. I didn’t even think that was legal, but the friend I was getting all this info from was one of the other women that just had a baby. She said that since our office has less than 50 people, it’s easier to get away with stuff like that. However, if this woman chose to sue because of this, she probably could. And I hope she does.
Maybe it’s better that I’m gone. Although I would definitely love the paycheck, I know that the morale there is terrible and life would be a living hell every day. At least I have my sanity.
I’m sitting here perusing some blogs and looking for job postings and have the news on in the background. A story just came on that really irks me. Soon (I can’t remember when since I was doing too many things at once), US Air will start charging $20 for the first bag checked.
Seriously?
$20 for ONE checked bag?
Come on, people.
Oh, and that’s only if you check your bags online – which I didn’t even know you could do. Anyway, if you check them in at the airport, it’s $5 more.
Ok fine. You need to charge more because you’re losing money. But now you’re going to charge more to do it at the airport?
Sometimes I don’t know if I”m going to check a bag until right before I leave. It depends on what I can fit into what bags.
Also, with all this charging for bags, it causes havok on the plane and makes the boarding process so much longer because people don’t want to pay the fees and try to shove huge bags in compartments that they don’t fit in. Or people who can’t manage to lift their bag above them try to and block the aisle and oh my God can’t you just sit down and fasten your seatbelt so we can go???
Perhaps this will go the way of the fees for soda and water. Since you know, that was dumb too and they went back to it being free.
On a side note, I think all the additional charges are completely absurd anyway. Don’t tell me that the fuel costs more during Thanksgiving than other times. Because I don’t think that’s true yet you’re still trying to charge me $600 to fly from NC to NY. Yeah. Not cool.
Annnd, speaking of crazy ticket prices. Why were tickets to Cabo $230 last Monday and as of last Tuesday they are $450? Because, I don’t know, we may have just booked a week long trip to Cabo for next July to celebrate LM’s 30th bday.
Ok. I’ll end my random tangent.
So I’ve officially been out of work for about 2 1/2 days now. And, um, I’m starting to run out of things to do. I don’t want to waste my days sleeping/being lazy, so I get up around 7:45/8 and get dressed and ready for the day. Monday I searched online for jobs for a while, I did some grocery shopping, stopped at Marshall’s to window shop, took the puppies for a walk and cleaned the house top to bottom. And that was it. And you know what? It didn’t take up the entire day. Not to mention, L was working so I didn’t even have him home or coming home from his part-time job to break it up.
Yesterday, I tried a workout on on-demand that sort of kicked my butt, looked for more jobs, ran to the bank, and folded a month’s worth of clothes and put them away. L had a promotional test in the morning, then went to lunch with some of his co-workers and ran some errands. When he got home, it was a nice break.
Today, I met him at the fire station in town so we could drop my car off for an oil change, gave the puppies a bath and got dressed. We’re leaving for CT tomorrow morning so I still need to pack and clean out my car so it’s nice and sparkly for the drive tomorrow. I’ll look for jobs again in awhile, but then that’s it. L is working at his full-time job tonight, so it’s another day of just me and the puppies.
I’m not sure what I’ll do once we get back from CT. I’m trying to come up with little projects to do around the house and space them out so I don’t do them all at once!
In other news, we’ll be on our way to CT in less than 24 hours and L hasn’t asked me any huge important question. 
When I ruined the whole Savannah thing, he told me it would be before we went to CT, but it never happened. We thought about going to the beach the weekend before last. Kind of a last minute idea, but L told me that he’d rather hang out around the house. I thought maybe it was going to be that weekend since he hardly ever turns down a trip to the beach. Maybe he had something planned. But the weekend came and went and nothing happened. Then I thought it would be this past weekend. But as I thought about it more, I didn’t think he would do it then. He told me he had planned to study for his promotional exam all weekend. Saturday we actually ended up working on our fence (yay!) and then we went to a friend’s birthday party. Sunday, maybe? Well, since he didn’t study on Saturday, I knew he would need to study on Sunday. And that he did. All day long. Monday, as I noted, he worked. When I talked to him that night I asked if he was coming home after his test on Tuesday or if he had other stuff going on. That’s when he told me he was having lunch with the guys and then running errands. But he wouldn’t specify what kind of errands he was running. I thought maybe he was going to do it last night. Then when he got home, he told me how he wasn’t going to an FD thing that he had been planning to go to. Then I thought maybe it really was going to happen. Then he went and cut the grass and did some stuff for work. And, of course, it never happened.
He keeps telling me that he has something planned. And that I just need to be patient. And I know that I need to be patient. But I just want it so bad. And I don’t know if he decided not to ask me before we went to CT because he thought I would be expecting it or what. But it’s just disappointing I guess. I know I probably sound like the biggest brat in the world, but I can’t help it. We’ve been talking seriously about getting married for almost 2 years now. And it just keeps getting pushed back. He said this to me the other day. In a really cute and sweet way: I’m not trying to upset you or stir anything up, but I really, really wanted to do it in Savannah.
So, I know that he wants to do it, but. I don’t know. I don’t know what I think. I’m just so ready to start that next part of my life with him and I want it to start now.
But, in anycase. We’ll be in CT all weekend and won’t be back till Tuesday night – so I probably won’t be posting till then. It will be good to get away for a few days – and L even got tickets to the Yankees/Red Sox game on Friday. 
We treat our puppies like they are children. They are so spoiled and we do everything we can for them. Do we have almost $1000 to spend on Shep’s eye surgery? No, we don’t. Are we going to figure out a way to make it work so he can be taken care of? Absolutely. And in return, they are ungrateful hellians.
This is Shep with his bone this morning.
This is Dixie chewing on her bone this morning.
Now, I ask, why could they not do this last night when we were kind enough to leave them out for three hours when we went to dinner and to enjoy some nice live music on an outdoor patio?
Instead, they did this.
Just as a note, this (particular) chair had no previous damage to it when we left the house.
I knew it would be bad when I walked in the laundry room (it’s directly off of the garage) and Dixie was sitting there with her tail between her legs and Shep was hiding in his crate.
Ever since the mattress incident, we rarely leave them out of their crates when we’re not home. A couple weeks ago they did just fine for an hour, but the big problem is their inconsistency. Sometimes they are good. Sometimes they are not. I guess yesterday was the latter.
… that I hate my job?
Because I do.
A lot.
And if jobs weren’t so hard to come by, I would get up and walk out of here right now.
- On Sunday, I was really worried about this work week. Mostly because it was going to be a full five days for me. You see, the last three weeks, I have only worked 3 or 4 days because of vacation and holidays. Thankfully, it didn’t go by as slowly as I thought it was going to.
- Last night I went the the monthly business meeting for the volunteer FD. These meetings can be kind of entertaining when the discussions get heated. There is lots of drama and things wrong in this department. Really. Men always say that women have drama, but we’ve got nothing on these (mostly) guys. The main problem is that they make rules and don’t stick to them. I have mentioned this time and time again. Last night was the perfect example. They created a new weapons policy – in a nutshell, no weapons allowed on FD property unless you’re a police officer, etc. This all came about because someone had their gun in the station the other day just messing around with it (cleaning or something, I mean). This made come people uncomfortable because there are a few members that have a history of physical violence and are quick to fly off the handle. Therefore, having a weapon accessible is not really a good idea. You must remember that we live in the South and our town does have it’s own “back woods.” A lot of the people got all upset saying they couldn’t prohibit that if they have a concealed carry permit – it can be prohibited if signs are posted. They were mostly concerned with the fact that a lot of them keep guns in their car. One guy even said that he probably had three in his truck last night. So, the Board of Directors and the chief said, ‘just don’t bring them in the building. I”m telling your right now, i”m not going to check your cars.” Someone questioned that saying that the parking lot was FD property though, they again repeated, “As long as you don’t bring it in the building, I’m not going to check your truck. It’s fine if it’s in your truck.” If that’s how it is going to be, fine. Just don’t say it as part of a formal meeting. While the entire meeting is being recorded. The rules need to be followed. This is just one example.
- Shep has something wrong with his paw. He has been limping ever since we picked him up from camp two weekends ago. We thought it would go away, because he often limps after he plays a lot, but it hasn’t. We’ve determined that it is his paw, one toe in particular, and not his leg. I mean, he limps really bad. But he still plays with Dixie. I almost wonder if he does it for sympathy. Just kidding. He won’t let L even go near one of his toes. I’ve been giving him some children’s Tylenol, but I don’t know if it’s helping. I just wish he could talk. L might take him to the vet next week if he doesn’t show any improvement. I almost wonder if it is a broken toe, and like a human, there’s not much you can do about it. But we’ll see. Our poor little Shep-dog.
-Speaking of Shep, we’ve got about half of the money for his eye surgery saved. I think we’re going to try and save a little bit more and then move forward and put the balance on a credit card. That was the original plan, at least.
- I’ve recently been thinking about selling three of my Lilly Pulitzer dresses online. They have been sitting in my closet for two years and each of them has only been worn one time for a few hours to a couple different bridal showers. They don’t fit anymore because I bought them in my skinny days. I know that I could get at least $100 each on ebay for them – and that would be $300 I could put toward shep’s surgery, or my credit card, or in savings. But then I think, they would be so pretty to wear to a bridal shower of my own. And there’s no way I”m letting my self stay this size for our wedding and that once I sell them, I don’t have the money to replace them – so maybe I should wait. I’m just not sure. I’m still throwing the idea around.
- My coworker returns from maternity leave on Wednesday. I am SO. EXCITED. It would probably be inappropriate of me to fill her office with balloons, right? Because I’m assuming that she’ll be sad about dropping her little one off at daycare for the first time, but I am definitely excited.
Happy Weekend!
There is this one woman in my office that I can not stand. I’m sure I’ve talked about her before on here. I’m not the only one that feels this dislike toward. Every other person in the office does as well. Literally. Every. Single. Person. Except our boss/owner. He thinks that she is God’s gift to the world. And she thinks that she is better than everyone else. But really she is one of the most inefficient people here. Anyway…
She is going on a business trip and is leaving in a little while. She is going with our new employee that just started about 2 weeks ago, however they are driving separately.
They are going to Charleston, SC, which is about 3 1/2 – 4 hours from where we are. The guy’s fiance just got here because they are going to make a trip out of it and stay the rest of the weekend. He walks by WWW’s (wicked witch of the west) office to see if there is anything additional that she wants him to bring. No, but she wants to know if he printed out directions. Yes, he says. She asks him to go make a copy of them so she doesn’t have to bother looking them up herself.
Seriously.
He had to walk back to his desk, then back past her office to the copy machine and then back to her. I have a problem with people who make annoying requests like that.
Getting to Charleston is pretty easy from Charlotte. And for someone who has lived here most of her life, she should really know the gist of getting there. Once in Charleston, it’s not a terribly hard city to navigate. I really don’t understand why it was so difficult for her to just pop in the address into google maps or mapquest.
I just sat at my desk and shook my head during the entire exchance. Knowing more details about how she is and how terribly she interacts with all the rest of the employees would probably help you understand why this annoyed me so much – but you get the idea.
I found another job to apply for to sounds like something I would really love to do. I just opened my resume to tweak it a little. I went through and added a couple of things to my job descriptions and then I went to the bottom where I have extra curricular activities listed. I pushed the mention of my sorority down a couple of lines, and above it I wrote:
[Name of our town] Volunteer Fire Department
Auxiliary Support Team member – help plan, coordinate and execute department events, including…
According to Word, I spelled everything wrong except ‘department’ and ‘help.’ Interesting. When I right-click to look at spelling suggestions (even though I already know everything is spelled correctly), everything listed seems to be in a different language.
I don’t even know what happened, all I’ve done is type!
Weird.
I could not be more excited for the weekend. Why? Well, there’s the whole not having to go to work thing, which, as we all know, is number one on my list. Oh, the Steeplechase! Yes, that’s right. It’s finally here and I can not wait! Tomorrow’s forecast – 85 and sunny. L is afraid it’s going to be too hot. Me on the other hand? Oh, I’m thinking of how I’ll get some color on my shoulders!
A little disappointed that my work friend had to back out at the last minute. Her husband’s uncle had a stroke the other night and is not doing well. She had tears in her eyes when she told. Tears that she couldn’t go. Not for the uncle (although, she does feel bad about that too ).
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The last couple of nights we (I) have been pulling any remaining painting tape off of the walls and touching up some spots on the ceilings. The only tape that was really left was at the peak of the ceiling which required moving the entertainment center and getting out the ladder. It looks so great. My lines are perfectly straight if I do say so myself. We just have one wall that needs to be painted. We held off because L wanted to cut an opening in to create a more “flowy” feeling between the kitchen. But now he’s undecided. So it’s getting painted anyway. Soon. Maybe Sunday. Depending on how hungover I am.
And as selfish as it may sound, I’m glad to know that he recognizes that I did 90% of the work on this project.
Next up we’re painting the bedroom. He doesn’t know it yet, but I’m hoping we can maybe do it next weekend. Just knock it out and get it done. We had talked about maybe going to the beach, but haven’t said anything since. Plus those fires are pretty damn close to where we go.
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This little nugget of information we received last night kind of annoyed me. As I mentioned, L’s sister is graduating from college the second weekend in May and we are going to her graduation (as it turns out, I apparently haven’t officially been invited, but everything his mom has said leads him to believe that I am invited. I told him I would like for him to confirm. Because I have issues).
Her college is not far from his parent’s house. We were going to go up Saturday evening or Sunday morning, go to the graduation and spend time with the family (I’m thinking lunch or dinner will be involved).
Last night his mom calls and tells us not to bring the puppies when we come.
Umm, why?!
She thinks that it will just be “too crazy” if they are there. Between their dog (cocker spaniel), his sister’s dog (pomaranian) and his aunt’s dog (some teeny, tiny rescue dog), it’s just not a good idea. Plus we won’t be around the house that much.
I still don’t understand. Whenever we bring them, both of their crates go in L’s bedroom and if we are not home, the bedroom door is closed. They barely bark and are pretty much not a problem.
L tells her that we’ll have to try and make some other arrangements if we can’t bring them. She says we should board them with our trainer. Well, he doesn’t board dogs anymore. And if we take them to the new place we’re boarding them, we’ll have to drop them off on Saturday (even if we don’t go till Sunday bc they have certain pick up/drop off times) and likely won’t be able to pick them up until Monday morning since we’ll probably get back late.
That will cost anywhere between $60 and $120 depending on what time we drop them off. We don’t have that kind of extra money to just throw around.
I feel bad asking our one friend who watches them sometimes because he has helped us out sooo much recently. Plus, this is Mother’s Day weekend. Also, his wife is pregnant and due like the next day.
I just don’t understand why it’s our dogs that have to get shafted. And what she has against them anyway. She is so wishy-washy. About everything. She talks about how we should never have gotten the dogs to start with, how dogs (in general) are a pain in the butt, cost a lot of money and ruin things (she does not know about the mattress and never will as far as I’m concerned). But at the same time when they are there and Shep is walking around whining for absolutely no reason and we make fun of him, she’s like “oh, he’s just trying to talk, how sweet.” And she takes them for walks if we’re out even when we tell her they’ll be fine.
I just don’t get it.
Meanwhile, my parents had no problem when I told them we’ll be coming to CT in August for my friend’s wedding and will be dropping the puppies off with them for like 3 days while we’re at the wedding which is a couple hours away.
Plus, how could you not love these two?
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But, I’m not going to think about that right now. I am way too excited for a wonderful weekend. Now if only I can convince L to call in sick on Sunday! 
I have been unhappy with my job for quite some time now. A really long time, actually. For awhile I just sucked it up. Then I decided that I should look for something else, but I had no idea what I wanted to do – I just knew it wasn’t what I’m doing now. I toyed around with going back to school for teaching, but realized I couldn’t afford it. For about the last year, maybe a little longer, I’ve been looking for a new job. Not looking hard, but still looking.
I saw a few jobs at universities that appealled to me. That’s when I realized I would love to work for a college or university. I’ve always been very intrigued by and interested in them. Partly because it is such a unique time in a person’s life.
I applied for many of these jobs, but never heard back.
Almost two months ago – two months on Monday to be exact – I submitted my resume for a job at a private university that I thought sounded so perfect. A great way to get my foot in the door.
I never expected to hear back from this school because I’ve applied for several jobs there before and ended up with nothing. It’s just really hard to get “in” there. One of my current colleagues said that she’s applied for jobs there off and on for the last several years and never gets anywhere either.
Then, what do you know, I actually got an email requesting a phone interview. No matter what, I was excited to get that far.
The phone interview went well and it wasn’t long before I received another email asking that I come in for a second round interview. One that would take approximately four hours.
So, I took a half day of vacation and spent the afternoon on camus. Interviewing with many different people. I knew that I could do really well in this position. And that even though I don’t have a background in higher education, that the background I do have provided with many skills that would be key. And that interview felt good too.
Before I left that afternoon, the gentleman I was interviewing with, and who I would work with directly, said he hoped to make a decision by early the next week.
Well, that next week came and went. The week following I received yet another email. The applicant pool was very strong and he wanted to meet with me again, but had some urgency and wanted to meet that week. He assured me that I was a finalist.
This presented a problem. I couldn’t keep taking vacation days for a job I didn’t know if I would get. But there was a funny coincidence. My birthday was that Friday and I had the day off from work. I emailed back and let them know I could be available on Friday.
It turned out to be a 7:15 AM breakfast meeting. On my birthday. Which was a day off.
While there I learned that it was between me and one other person. I was even more relaxed then than the last time. It went very well. And he seemed genuinely impressed/happy. He said he would let me know either way by the upcoming Tuesday.
Tuesday came and went. And so did the rest of the week. And half of the week after that. Finally, I got an email. He still hadn’t made a decision. Something had delayed the process. He asked if I was still interested/available.
I replied back immediately saying I was. And I heard nothing. That was Wednesday of last week.
Twodays ago I checked their website again and the job was no longer posted. Their policy is that the job remains posted until they have extended an offer. I figured that I didn’t get it. But I still hadn’t heard anything and he said he would notify me either way.
At 7pm last night I finally got an email:
[Kris],Hello. I am writing to let you know that after much deliberation, I have decided on another candidate for my assistant position. I am very sorry this has taken so long – please know it was not my intention as I ran into some things that caused the process to slow down dramatically. I want to thank you for your interest in the position – I was very impressed with your candidacy. I wish you the very best.Sincerely,
[Guy you spent 10 years interviewing with]
After all of that, he could have at least called me. I interviewed with this guy for basically 6 hours. I’m definitely bummed, but I’m still sure that it wouldn’t have paid enough for me to accept it. Although, it would have been really nice to be able to go back for grad school. For free.
Frankly, after all of this time, I lost my enthusiasm for it. Maybe I was just putting up a wall so I wouldn’t be so disappointed if I didn’t get it. Which I guess worked, because when I saw that email in my inbox, I knew what it was going to say before I even opened it.
And so the search continues. Although, I am greatful that I at least have a job and can pay my bills.
Here’s a recap of my birthday weekend. We had a great time (even though I am officially closer to 30 than to 20). I’m slammed this week, so you get semi-bullet points again.
Friday
- Friday morning, my birthday, which I had off from work, I got up at 5:30 am to get ready for my third interview which was at 7:15. We met at Bruegger’s Bagels and the whole thing lasted 25 minutes. Ugh. I got up that early for 25 minutes? Anyway, it’s between me and one other person. I think it went really well. He hopes to let me know either way by tomorrow. Still no word on salary. Cross your fingers on both accounts.
-L and I lounged around for a few hours after I got home before we headed out for lunch at Price’s Chicken Coup. I was so excited. And you know what? It was way better than anyone had ever said! This was some damn good food. And the best part? It was cheap!
You came out with a no-frills box for each meal.
And when I lifted the top, angels sang as I feasted my eyes on… my feast.
What you see there is 2 pieces of chicken, 2 huge hush puppies, some tater tot-type things, a roll and coleslaw. L had the same thing except he chose to go with the fried perch (gag). Those two wonderful boxes plus two drinks came to a whopping $13! Now that’s a deal! We couldn’t even finish it all.
I told him he should be happy that he’s dating a girl who is happy to go get fried chicken and eat it in the car in the parking lot (take out only and too cold to go to a park or something) on her birthday – and not some pretentious girl who would snub her nose at the idea.
We got home and I opened the package my mom had sent me – money to get my hair done and one of those nifty curling irons that is also a straightener.
I didn’t get a present from L. He told me that on Thursday after work he had to run an errand, but then he came home right after work. When I asked him why he hadn’t gone wherever he said he had to go, he said he wanted to come home and be with me. He was going to try and fix the problem with my gift. Apparently, he ordered it like 2 weeks ago, but it hasn’t arrived. When he called to check, it turns out he entered his credit card number incorrectly and it didn’t go through.
When I got home from my interview that morning, I asked, “I’m not trying to be selfish or greedy, but since you didn’t run that errand last night, does that mean I don’t get a birthday present?”
He started into this whole thing on how he was sorry and how he was sorry he hasn’t done anything right lately. The only reason I asked was because I knew he wouldn’t say anything about it if I didn’t.
“Do I at least get a card?”
Yes, but he had to go to the fire station to get it. He left it there yesterday when he was working. He tells me this is true, but I wonder if when he went to the fire station to get it, he actually went to CVS. Anyway, it wasn’t until right before we were going to dinner that he even went to go get the card.
He comes back and gives it to me and also tells me he went to the store to see if they had any balloons he could tie to my chair at the bar later that night. And then asked if I wanted a cake. I’m not going to tell someone I want a cake. If you want to get me a cake, then do it, but don’t ask me if I want one.
I’m really not a greedy person at all, but it just kind of hurt my feelings. I put in a lot of effort to anything that I do for him – whether it’s big or small – and I just felt like he did all of mine on a whim. I’m not asking for big expensive presents, I’m just asking for some effort. We have three days in a short period of time (Vday, our anniv and my birthday), so it was all at once.
I got the roses and a card on Vday – which was perfect. But my present hasn’t come. He said he ordered that 2 weeks ago too. His next comment about it (which was on my bday) was that it was back ordered and he told me what it was. For him I got a subscription to a magazine he wanted. But I printed out a picture of the magazine and wrote that he was getting a year’s subscription and then glued it to a piece of card stock so it was wrapable.
For our anniversary, he told me he’s taking me to Savannah. Which I’m absolutely extactic about. But, instead of printing something out (like he’s done before) or having something small related to it for me to open, he just pulled up the tourism web site on the laptop. And although he says he has two weekends picked out that we could go – nothing is actually set. No date. No hotel. No plans.
I had gotten him the braves tickets. Which I wrapped up in individual packages, and a note about what hotel we’re staying at and that I had taken care of boarding the puppies. And I made him a card. Not a fancy card, but a card.
His, although it’s clear that he’s known I’ve always wanted to go there, just seemed like it was a last minute thought. And even if it weren’t, there wasn’t all that much effort put into the thing. Oh. And I didn’t even get a card.
He knows that our anniversary is a big deal to me (not that what he gets me has to be big, but just the recognition of it), but it just didn’t seem that way. I’m sorry that until I met him I never dated any one seriously. And I’m sorry that maybe the anniv. seems boring or mundane to him because he dated the same person for more than 6 years, therefore having 6 anniversaries. But it’s still a big deal to me.
So, all that coupled with no birthday gift, no card until I mentioned it and the fact that I thought he was always going to buy me pink roses for my birthday and didn’t just made me sad.
He told me that he’s had so much on his plate lately that he is overwhelmed. Between work, his partime job, this new captain’s position at his part time job and school – he was just overwhelmed. Then he told me how he’s having to drop his math class because he didn’t do well enough on the quizzes. But that he didn’t ask me for help because that meant he was a failure (even though I offered to help him one million times).
I felt bad. I know how it feels to be overwhelmed. But it didn’t help the fact that I felt forgotten or unimportant. Especially after some of my best friends were blowing off my birthday.
He told me that Saturday he would pick the day for our trip, which he didn’t, but in all honesty, we didn’t really have time. So I thought he would do it Sunday. But he didn’t. If I mention it or he reads this, I can guarantee that he’ll say he didn’t have time and he spent the whole weekend with me. Which is true. But there was also a lot of time spent reading fire blogs and looking at other fire depts’ web sites. He could have taken a few minutes of that time to finish my present.
So, he tells me I have a present coming, but I have no idea when I’ll actually get it.
But, we marched on. He took me to the Melting Pot for dinner (my suggestion though) and it was delicious. I normally only go for cheese and chocolate because a plate full of uncooked meat doesn’t appeal to me, but he talked me into it and it was much better than the only other time I’ve had the meat there.
I love how their tables are so private. And we were in this tiny room that only had one other. It was perfect!
For our chocolate.
Between the cheese, main course and chocolate – we were stuffed. But it was so incredibly yummy! I wish it weren’t so expensive so we could go more often.
After, we headed to a bar to meet some friends. I was pissed they were charging a cover at 8:30, but was happy when it was only $5 and it was because they had $1 beers!! Heck yeah. Although really? The bouncer could have let me in for free when I told him it was my birthday. We had a good time, nothing too crazy, but fun nonetheless.
Saturday
- We hung out around the house and took the puppies to the dog park for awhile. They really love that place. Except one dog kept trying to hump Dixie non stop for like 20 minutes and the owner was a royal bitch when L pulled her dog off. A couple times is fine – they’re dogs. But as soon as you pulled this thing off, it went right back after her. And the woman did nothing.
-We dropped them off then headed out to meet up with some of L’s friends from the volunteer station to go to a minor league hockey game. We started off with dinner and drinks, followed by the game and then to a bar afterward. It was actually really fun. I had never been to any kind of hockey game before, but had a great time.
We took the light rail into town and I must admit, that although I turned 26 the day before, I did something Ihaven’t done since my younger college days. I peed in the parking garage. There was no way I was going to make it home and there were no bathrooms around. A lot of people got off the train with us and the three level parking deck really had no corner or post that was out of the way. After I literally almost peed in my pants, I took my chances on the middle level in a corner. But it was a really small corner and my pee was quickly heading toward my feet. So what did I do? I put my feet up against the wall, with my back against the other side and peed. Suspended in the air. Haha.
Sunday
-Sunday was quite boring. I was really tired from the night before and we just relaxed. Took the dogs to the dog park again and later that night we rented Nights in Rodanthe. See, even with his lack of efforts in the present arena, the boy really does love me. It was good, but not quite as good as I was hoping.
And here we are. Overall, it was a really great weekend and Ihad a good time. I’m excited for this week to be over because we’re going to the beach friday night. Too bad it will only be about 50 while we’re there, but I’m excited nonetheless.
*PS- I have more pictures to add, but wordpress isn’t cooperating right now.
I heard back about the position I’ve been interviewing for. They want me to come to talk further. I have no idea what we could possibly talk about. I’m pretty sure we covered it all in the 5 hours I’ve interviewed with them already. Literally.
The email assured me that I am a finalist, but that they have a very strong applicant pool. He (the guy I’d be working with and who I’ve been communicating with) has some urgency to get this all taken care of and would like for me to come in this week. Seriously? I can’t just keep taking time off of work for this. But conveniently, I have Friday off because of my birthday.
I really have no desire to go to a job interview on my birthday. My plans were to sleep in and lay with L all morning. Followed by my first trip to this place for lunch (I’ve been dying to go there for many years. It’s even been listed as some of the best fried chicken in the country by the Food Network) and then relaxing the rest of the day before we go out later that night.
But, I guess it’s lucky that I already had the time off and that he has availability that morning. He said that he would like to meet off campus for about an hour. Perhaps at a bagel shop. I emailed his assistant letting her know that the only time I could meet was Friday morning (I wanted to get it over with and not have to think about it all day).
And what time does she respond with?
7:15 AM.
What the f-u-c-k?
That means that I have to leave the house by 6:30 since I’m not sure how traffic will be.
You know what else that means? That I have to get up by 5:45 at the latest. On my birthday. That I have off from work. Ugh.
Also, I have to be there at 7:15? Did I mention that I don’t normally leave the house for work on a daily basis until 7:35?
To top it all off, I still don’t know what the salary is. I thought about emailing him back and asking if he could give me a better idea of what it was around, but my mom said that I shouldn’t do that. Especially over email.
Maybe it’s a sign. A good sign. That this is happening on my birthday and that I didn’t have to worry about trying to take more time off of work.
Sigh. I wish they would just make the decision. If it lasts an hour like he said, that will mean I will have interviewed with them for 6 HOURS. This is for an assistant’s position, not the president of the university!
I honestly don’t know what else I can talk about. All of my questions (except salary) have been answered. And I’m pretty sure we thoroughly covered my background. Unless he wants to ask me what I like to do in my spare time, which someone there already asked me last time.
Wish me luck. You might want to do it tonight though, because you might not be up that early tomorrow.
Back in August we started letting the puppies sleep in the bedroom with us at night. The first few days were tough – they kept wanting to sleep on the bed with us. But after that, it was smooth sailing.
I layed out a blanket on each side of the room for them to sleep on, and they did. The door remains closed so they can’t wonder around the house, but other than that, it’s been business as usual. I like them sleeping in there with us, especially when L’s at work and I’m by myself. It just doesn’t feel as lonely.
At one point, I had a down comforter on the bed in a pretty green and white striped duvet cover from Pottery Barn that I had gotten on Ebay. Well, it was too hot with the down comforter on, so I folded it up one night before bed, layed on the floor till the next day when I could deal with trying to find a spot for it in the linen closet and put a quilt on the bed.
Anyway. By the next morning, Shep had made the comforter his new bed. And I let him sleep on it for awhile. And before I knew it, there was no taking it back.
The dog was sleeping on a DOWN COMFORTER with a duvet cover from POTTERY BARN. Oh my God. We are so those people. He is spoiled. Meanwhile, Dixie had no complaints about her soft fleece blanket which she arranged into a ball each night after I spread it out nicely for her.
Eventually I felt bad that Shep had a down comforter and Dixie had a measley fleece blanket. So I decided that when I went home for Thanksgiving I would buy her a down comforter from Ikea too (you can get a twin size for $15!). So that’s what I did. L and I then got new, matching duvet covers from Linens n Things at their going out of business sale – because really? I did not want Shep to ruin my Pottery Barn one.
And that’s where we’ve been for several months. No one jumps on our bed. They go to their respective corners and sleep all night. On occasion, they won’t be ready for bed and will want to play, but that’s rare.
Until lately. The last couple weeks they’ve backtracked. See, it turns out that when I got Dixie her comforter, it was different than Shep’s. Hers was a twin, and his was a queen (since it had come from OUR bed). Then one day when I moved them to vacuum, I apparently switched them. So Dixie had the queen (which is obviously fluffier) and Shep had the twin. I don’t think he liked that.
Ever since then, he tries to sleep next to Dixie on her bed. But she doesn’t like it. For awhile she would go sleep on his bed. But it’s right below the tv, which I leave on when L is at work. And honestly. I think the light bothers her. She has turned into such a diva princess lately. So instead, she jumps up on the bed with me.
I tell her to get down and she does, but this goes on for about 15-20 minutes. The solution is usually for me to put both beds next to each other and then they are somewhat happy and go to sleep.
The thing is, they only do this when L is at work (perhaps it really is the TV light being on). Until last night, when he experienced it too. I don’t think he really believed me when I told him what went on.
Like usual, Shep layed next to Dixie. She looked annoyed. She jumped on the bed with us. We made her get off. L tried to make Shep go back to his own bed, which only lasted 5 minutes. Then he was on Dixie’s again. Then she was on our bed. Eventually we got them to go to sleep.
At 2:30 this morning I woke up. I had been having a dream that someone was tapping my leg. But when I opened my eyes, I realized it wasn’t a dream. Someone was tapping my leg. It was Shep. He was stretched out in the middle of our bed, sound asleep, and he too was having a dream. He must have been running in his dream becuase it was his foot that was hitting me.
“Get off. Get off the bed, Shep.”
L groggily asked me what was going on. I told him Shep had been sleeping on the bed. I pushed him off (which was no easy task because that dog can plant himself in one spot like a boulder) and got his bed, put it next to Dixie’s and he went back to sleep.
I don’t know how long he had been up there with us, but it must have been awhile because he was sound alseep.
Things were fine till L’s alarm went off this morning and Dixie got up on the bed. We made her move, and when L left for work, they both got up on the bed and layed down with me. I just let them stay there since 1 – I was cold and they were keeping me warm and 2- I was getting up in 15 minutes and it wasn’t worth the fight.
I don’t know why they’ve backtracked like this. I think they just really like their luxuries and would prefer a real bed. haha.
We’ll see how tonight goes – L is at work again. Wish me luck!
