The First (And The Only)

L and I have been in full wedding planning mode since he proposed.  Really, just trying to find a venue and secure a date.  That’s all I really care about at this point.  We’re hoping for the Sunday of Labor Day weekend to give people an extra day to travel and to take advantage of the lower Sunday rates all at the same time.

I have researched and gathered pricing and availability information from everywhere in the Charlotte area.  And then I did the same for the Wilmington/beach area since we want to consider that as well.  Then, together, we looked at the information and the websites in detail and created a ranked spreadsheet of the different venues.  We nixed any that were just too expensive and then decided on which ones we needed/wanted to look at, etc. 

Last Sunday, we drove around a bunch of places doing drive bys and were able to cut a few more off the list just based on looks, etc.  Then I made appointments for us to meet with some of the venues.  This past Friday we went to four places, another one on Saturday and yesterday we drove to Wilmington (and back in one day – a little more than 3 hours each way) to hit a small bridal show and visit 3 other venues, plus check out some other things in the area.

Meanwhile, we also put together our guest list.  It started off at close to 250 people, which is just way too high for the budget that we have.  We are pretty much splitting the cost of this wedding with my parents.  About 99% of our half is coming from L.  It doesn’t help that I don’t have a job right now.  Even so, we have about $5000 more to spend than we originally thought we would and I am very grateful to my parents for that.  They are contributing a significantly greater amount than I thought they would be able to.

So we tried to cut our list down and got it to about 200.  Now, going by the approximately-80%-of-your-guest-list-will-actually-come-to-your-wedding rule, we were at about 160.   As we continue to look at venues, we were estimating about 130-150 guests.  If it were in Wilmington, it would probably be on the lower end of that, but can’t count on that.  Going through all the information from all of these venues, it’s becoming real that we can barely afford the 150 number.  It would leave very little room for anything else. 

I am fine with doing a lot DIY things and actually look forward to it.  I pride myself on being a bargain shopper and know that will help things in the long run.  The only thing I want to splurge on is photography.  I would rather have a smaller wedding and have it at a nicer location or not have to worry about scraping pennies together, rather than having a huge guest list.  L says that he wants a big party – the ceremony is important to him too – but he is looking forward to a big celebration with friends.  He too, says that he’s fine with having a smaller guest list, but this is where it started.

As we were driving around in between appointments discussing one of the venues, I mentioned how we need to cut the list even more because I was afraid this was going to very difficult to afford this with the number that we have now.  This eventually led to him saying how he can’t help it that his family is so much larger than mine and that he’s inviting hardly any friends because of that and he has cut so many people off the list that he wants to invite.  He basically made me feel horribly for this and said how I’m putting this all on him and blaming him because his family is so big, etc. 

At the same time, it’s not my fault that my family is smaller, allowing me to invite more friends.  But let’s be clear, I really don’t have a ton of friends.  I don’t know nearlyas many people as he does.  And, based on the names I’ve ssen on the guest list, I really don’t know who all these people are that he wants to invite that he can’t.  He says that right now his list is family and close friends and that’s it, but in my opinion, that’s what a wedding should be. 

Sure, if we had 30 or 40 or $50,000 to spend on a wedding, we could invite more people who were casual friends, etc., but we don’t.  Which means that we need to invite those that matter the most to us.  The ones who you wouldn’t want to miss out on this special and important day.

Yesterday was our first, and what I hope is our only, fight about this process.  He said that I should give him some leeway since he is paying for half of this wedding which I should just consider would be covering his large guest list.  That really hurt my feelings because he always said that would be ‘our’ contribution.  I know it’s his money, but it just really, really hurt my feelings the way he said it.  He also through at me, that I “should see the list with all the people on it that he wants to invite and can’t.  Then [I] would really see how many people [he has] cut.”  And that he has cut and cut and cut and he just can’t get rid of any other people.  I asked who all this family was and if it were necessary to invite others who were not considered immediately family since the only family I’m inviting is immediate.  He said they are family and they have to be invited and that his mom said so too.  It doesn’t help that his sister is getting married a few months before us.  I asked if he reminded his mom that our budget is likely significantly less than what his sister’s is and he said he had.

In additon to our individual lists, we also have a mutual list made up of all friends.  This list is not small by any means and I reminded him of this when he said that he has hardly any friends invited.  I also reminded him that there was a good chunk of people on my list that should technically be on the mutual list and that he was the one who pointed that out when we created the list.  If this was how he wanted to compare lists, then I was going to move those people to the mutual list.

When we got home last night, that’s why I did.  I moved the mutals on my list to the mutual list and then looked at the numbers again.  On his individual list, 39% of the guests were in the ‘friend’ category.  On my list, 24% of the guests were in the ‘friend’ category.  When I pointed this out, he said it was only because I moved a bunch of mine to the mutual list.  I then reminded him, once again, that he was the one who said they should be on the mutual list.

After that, I cut even more people from my list.  People that I want to be there.  Some that I want to be there, but am pretty sure won’t be able to come due to distance and finances.  But I cut them, since he has “made the sacrafices with this guest list.”  He made a few moves and we got the total number down from 200 to 160.  This made me much happier and at this point we were much more civil. 

But the whole argument that happened the few hours before really annoyed me, hurt me and angered me. 

First of all, I refuse to be miserable during this process.  I have seen how this is frustrating me some to not be able to find someplace that we can easily afford.  Perhaps now that we’ve cut the list, this will help.  Based on a few prices we’ve found, this cut can save us up to $3000 which is a huge amount of money.  Second, not only do I not want to be miserable, I do NOT want to argue during this process.

Sure there has been a disappointment, he doesn’t like a venue that I LOVE and think would be perfect.  But we don’t argue about it.  If he doesn’t like it, fine.  There are other places that we both like.  Am I disappointed?  Absolutely.  Do I think it’s a good deal and would allow us to shop around for other components and potentially save money?  Yes.  But I don’t want to choose a venue that he doesn’t like just because I do.  Long before we ever got engaged, I told him that I didn’t want to do this planning by myself (not saying that my friends and mom wouldn’t help me), but that I wanted to do it together because it is OUR wedding.

As far as the guest list goes, he says we are on the same page.  Especially with the whole would-rather-have-a-smaller-but-nicer-wedding-rather-than-a-larger-but-not-as-nice-wedding.  But when it comes down to it, that’s now how he made it out.  And whether I “took it the wrong way” or not, that’s how it came across. 

I think we’re ok with where we are now with the guest list.  I’m still very sad with three of the people (plus their husbands) that I had to cut from my list, but perhaps they can take the place of a few people I know are not able to attend. 

I just want to have this part done.  The venue.  And the damn ceremony location – meaning, decide if it’s going to be in the same place or not and if it’s not where the heck it will be since L doesn’t want a church wedding.

Then we can move on to the fun stuff.

On Your Mark, Get Set, Go!

A mish mosh, per the usual:

- Tomorrow is a big day.  I’m running in my very first 5k on my college’s campus.  I’m really scared that I’m not going to be able to run the whole thing.  I haven’t run in almost 2 weeks and L and I went to run the course a couple weeks ago and it was really hard because of the hills.  The route I normally run is completely flat.  But I’m going to try my best and that’s all that matters.

- Then I’ve got to come home and get ready quick so I can host a Pampered Chef party.  My former roommate E has become a consultant and I’m hosting a party to help her get the ball rolling on her new endeavor.  A lot of my friends had other stuff going on, but CR and two former colleagues are coming, so I’m excited to get to see all of them.

- I’ve spent the last couple days researching different venues for OUR WEDDING!  Now that I can actually do that and not have to be secretive about it.  This is actually the one thing that I didn’t do much of in all my preliminary research – look for a place.  I had some ideas written down, but not many.  The hardest part is deciding between the Charlotte-area or somewhere on the coast.  Both have pros and cons.  I’m wanting to get this part done soon because we’re thinking about Labor Day weekend, and obviously places fill up fast.  This is so much fun!

What A Weekend

October has been one crazy month!  I know we’re getting into that part of the year that is always busy, but since when is October so busy?  Every weekend this month we have had something going on.  This weekend started off with an open house for the VFD’s new building on Saturday morning.  It was nice, but could have been more successful if people weren’t so greedy for credit and asked for help with the event.  I made lots of FD-related sugar cookies which were a hit, too!

We followed that up with a get together at a friend’s house that night.  The boys spent the evening in the living room talking shop and watching football, while the ladies hung out in the kitchen, drinking, talking and laughing.  It all ended around 11 when all of a sudden there was a parade of crying children coming down from their upstairs play cooridors.  It had been a long day for them and they all needed to go to bed.

Sunday we slept in a little, then packed up, took the puppies to the park, grabbed lunch and headed up to L’s parent’s house.  Monday was his birthday and every year he goes to the State Fair.  We got there, went to a hibachi place for dinner and just hung around the house.  Monday we took Shep to a new opthamologist (a story for another time – we have to take his eye out, but we like this doctor MUCH better than the one we’ve been going to) then headed out to the fair for the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. 

We checked out the animals, checked out the exhibits, ate some yummy (but artery clogging) food and rode some rides before heading home.

A couple pictures from the fair:

My boyfriend and I at the fair

My FIANCE and I at the top of the ferris wheel!

Oh, wait.  Did I leave that part out????????  It was the best moment of my life.  After months and months of waiting (and a little brattiness in there on my part), L proposed to me at the top of the ferris wheel just before sunset.  The ferris wheel is my favorite ride, I don’t know why, it just is.  We had waited in line for awhile, even though the line was not long at all, because they were having to balance the ride or soemthing.  It was very strange how they were doing it and people were starting to get irritated.  Some people got to go on just two people (it was gondala style cars), but others were being put with different people.  When we finally got to load, L asked the guy if we were able to go by ourselves.  I just figured he was annoyed we had to wait so long for no good reason.  We got on and slowly started to go up as others got on behind us.  I was leaning back into his side, looking out at the huge fairgrounds as we got higher and higher.  He kept telling me how much he loved me and lots of other mushy things that he tells me all the time (and I love).  For a second I thought to myself, this would be such a perfect time for him to propose, too bad it won’t happen.  There have been so many times he’s started telling me those things that I thought would be the moment and it wasn’t, that I just figured this was the same.  I don’t even remember exactly what he said, but it was something along the lines of, in a really cute voice, ‘are you sure you want to be with me forever?  I would reply back, yes of course.  him: are you really sure?  me: yes, I’m really sure.  him: are you really, really sure?  Me: (turning back to look at him bc most of this time I went back and forth between looking at him and looking over the fair) I’m really, really sure.

Him: Well, we’re at the very tip top.  Me: Yup. (as I turned to look back over the fair as his movement caught my attention).

He was moving on the bench, reaching into his pocket, got down on one knee and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him.  I started crying and leaned over to hug him and tell him yes.  He claims I didn’t, but I know I did.  Somewhere amongst all the crying and hugging he said he actually said ‘will you marry me?’, but I couldn’t hear it (bc of the crying).  He took the ring from the box and slipped it on my finger. 

I can’t tell you just how absolutely perfect that moment was.  I just can’t.

We finished the ride and were heading out of the fair (after we stopped to get ice cream at NC State’s Ice Cream booth – bc it is the best ice cream ever).  He told me that he was so nervous I was going to see the box in his pocket bc it had been there since we left for the vet at 9am.  My mom was extatic, but already knew since he had called my dad that morning to ask permission.  We stopped for dinner and when we got back to his parents house (who found out that morning when he asked his mom if she had a smaller ring box he could use), his mom was on the deck with the puppies who had heart-shaped balloons attached to their collars and Shep had on a bowtie and Dixie had on a veil.

Oh gosh.  I am just so excited!  It was all so perfect.  The proposal.  The ring.  Oh god, it sparkles so much I’m blinded by it!

I can’t wait for the rest of our lifetime!

Because if there is a girl out there like me reading this, I know she wants to see this…

Oh, Why Hello There

Well, hello blog world.  Are you still there?  I’ve somewhat ignored this little space of mine.  I either haven’t had much to say, or I just plain didn’t feel like writing.  How could that be since I have no job?  I don’t know.  It’s weird.  Sometimes I have trouble mustering up the motivation for things.  Like how I’ve looked at the pile of clean laundry grow larger and larger, but I just can’t seem to bring myself to fold it and put it away.  Or all the projects I have come up with to work on now that I have all this free time, yet, I just haven’t done them.  I know that I’ll eventually get a job (I will right?  Because I’m starting to worry) and I won’t have ALL this time anymore and I’ll be mad at myself for not doing it.

So what have I been doing?  Eh, not a whole lot.  I still spend a lot of time taking the puppies to the dog park.  Sometimes we’ll spend 3 hours there.  I know I could spend some of that time doing these projects I’ve come up with, but I just love taking them and watching them play.  Plus it’s so good for them to get the exercise.  We go almost every day.  Not always for three hours, but we do do that often.  It kind of depends on the weather and how many dogs are there and how much they’re playing.  Over the last two weeks though, every single day we go at least one, sometimes more, person has asked me if Shep is a puppy.  I just laugh and tell them that no, he’s not.  He’s almost two years old.  The question usually comes when he “kneels” down on his front two paws with his butt in the air, tail wagging wildly, jumping and twisting around and barking.  He’s quite a site.

We finally spoke with L’s uncle’s vet about Shep’s eye.  He says he thinks we should wait before we take his eye out.  His gut feeling is that the tumor won’t grow beyond his skull, but it might be a good idea to get an ultrasound to use as a baseline for down the road.  Also, he thinks we should have been advised to do that in the very beginning.  I’m not too happy with our opthamologist.  I think that he based a lot of his advice on the fact that we mentioned we didn’t have a lot of money to spend.  But what we met was that, we might not be able to pay for a $2500 treatment that day, but if it’s necessary, we can save our money and do it at a point in the future.  You know what I mean?  Anyway, we may go back or we may go to an opthamologist in Raleigh that works with NC State University’s Vetrinary School that was recommended by L’s uncle’s vet.

In other doggy eye news, he’s got this weird white/greenish gunk coming out of his eye.  I think it might be infected, so we’re trying to get him in this week to be looked at.  My poor puppy.

L surprised me with tickets to A Chorus Line on Saturday night.  I had mentioned that I wanted to go and then I just never bought the tickets, but he did.  It was a great show and a wonderful night together.

We’ve worked on the yard.  A lot!  We spend all day Saturday dethatching, aerating, watering, etc.  Hopefully we’ll actually be able to grow grass this year.  We’ve have a lot more wood to build the fence with and will be working on that too.  It was important to get the grass worked on so L could put seed down before it gets too cold.

Let’s see, what else?

L was at work last night and our friend had to come over when I heard a noise.  It sounded like something fell in the laundry room.  Even though the puppies didn’t budge, it still scared me.  I called L and he stayed on the phone with me while I checked the laundry room, garage and porch and found nothing.  While I was standing in the laundry room, I heard another noise that sounded like it was coming from underneath the house.  It was probably just Shep flopping down on the floor, but then I remembered we never locked the door to the crawl space the day before.  I freaked out so L had our friend come over and check it out.  And he didn’t even make fun of me.   Not to my face at least.

This same friend lives in a really nice neighborhood around the corner from us.  He and L worked together today in town and I went to lunch with them.  They stopped by his house first and L walked into the house across from him that the developer foreclosed on and told me all about it.  It sounded beautiful (plus I know how nice or friend’s house is, so I figured it had to be similar).  L took me over there after lunch and oh my God, I WANT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It is a steal, too.  Still more than we could afford, but both our friend and L said that it would be worth lowballing them for a better price bc they likely just want to get it off their hands.  It would be an awesome investment too since they are selling if for about $120,000 LESS than what it’s worth.

I want it.  No, like, I REALLY want it.  L said that he wants to just throw an offer out to them.  And I hate when he says stuff like that because he never acts on it, but it gets my  hopes up.  I mean, the liklihood of them accepting what we would be able to offer is slim, but it’s still the excitement of doing it. 

The house is unfinished and our friend was suggesting to put in the offer that they could leave things out, like carpeting, etc. to help.  I would love it if we could even look into it more, but I’m trying my best not to get my hopes up, because this is the one thing that L doesn’t really come through on.  He talks a lot of talk about it, but rarely does anything.  Perhaps this is why I’m bad at window shopping in general.

But if we were across the street from our friend – it’s a whole lot closer for him when I hear a strange noise

We’ve got lots of stuff going on this October (also, how is it October already?).  L’s birthday is coming up which means a trip to his parent’s house and the state fair which I’m pretty excited about. 

We’re running two 5ks this month.  My very first.  We were only going to do one, but they just scheduled one on my college campus, so I really want to do that too.

Speaking of running, I’ve run 4 miles.  At one time.  Without stopping.  Pretty amazing if you ask me.  It takes me awhile to do it, but I’m not going for time.  I just want to do it.

I booked a hotel room for the Cooper River Bridge Run which is March 27.  They are very expensive that weekend and I’m afraid of them selling out, so I just went ahead and got one. 

I guess that’s it.  I’ll try to post a little more frequently.  As I try to get more motivation for toher stuff in life too!

Just Another Weekend With Fire and Frogs

L and I had quite a busy weekend, but a fun and productive one nonetheless.  Saturday there was a training fire for the volunteer department.  So Friday L spent the entire day hauling tons of wooden pallets to the house in town that they were going to burn and setting everything up inside. 

Several months ago a woman sold a TON of land to a developer who is going to build a mixed-use development.  This house was on that land so it was donated to the FD for training purposes.  The house itself ‘ok’ looking and the inside was pretty outdated.  But if you wanted to redo your bathroom in powder blue, there was some lovely tile for you to pull up.  But there was one decorating aspect that was most certainly not outdated.  There were tons of beautiful plantation shutters in great condition on the inside.  L told me about them so I went up there to look at them and convinced him to pull them off for me so we could take them.  Even if they didn’t fit our windows, I would find something to do with them because they were too pretty and perfect to burn.

He ended up getting some for our back and side door and those will fit perfectly.  I can’t wait to put them up!  The others he grabbed were for three windows, but are actually attached to one frame.  I can take the individual shutter off the frame and I think it will fit our living room window – I just have to remeasure the lenght.  In anycase, what a great find.

Since I’m on the Support Team now, I got to go to the burn and actually do stuff (I’ve gone in years past, but just to watch for a little while).  I went up to the station Friday night to help load up the truck that we use to haul the supplies we need.

Saturday morning came early as we had to be at the station by 7am.  On a Saturday.  Woo.  We spent the morning gettig water, etc. and attending a meeting with the instructors about the burn.  Then we headed to the house to get started. 

The support team sets up tents for a rehab station where all of the firefighters are required to report to after they come out of the house.  Here they can strip their gear, get water/gatorade and snacks to replenish and they have to have their blood pressure and pulse checked.  They’re not allowed to leave rehab until those numbers get down (or up) to a certain level.

The firefighters go in in teams and on rotations.  I believe L went in 3 different times.  The first time he came out, he looked terrible.  And he told me he felt terrible.  We later determined that the reason he felt worse than he normally does is because he was basically completely dehydrated.  He had worked really hard the day before and only had a few glasses of iced tea – so he wasn’t even caught up for that day.  Then he didn’t have anything at all before he went into the fire.  He bounced back though and was ready for more.

Things seemed to go very well and I even got to go into the house at one point when everything was out before they set another part on fire.  I’ve never been inside of a burned up house before and it was definitely interesting.  And humid!  I carefully walked through all the sludge of burned and soaked insulation trying my best not to get my pretty white sneakers dirty!

After a 30 minute break, they asked for volunteers to make runs in the basement.  Basement houses are kind of a new thing in this area (they weren’t very popular for a long time because of issues with the kind of soil we have here) so it’s not often that they get a house to burn with a basement and it gives them different kinds of training opportunities.  L was the first to raise his hand – as well as some others.  This was the last thing they were going to do before they “let the house go” and just burn down.

I watched L standing in the door of the house waiting for his team’s turn to go in.  Finally they did and a few minutes later a firefighter comes running out and strips his gear just feet outside of the house.  They normally walk away before they do that and they don’t normally run out.  One of the support team members who is also an EMT ran over to him and started pouring water on his legs.  She helped him over to rehab where I found out he had burns on his wrists and legs. 

My heart started to beat really quickly.  I realized that this guy was on L’s team, but L hadn’t come out of the house yet.  I was really worried that something had gone wrong and that L and the rest of his team were hurt or stuck or something.  Especially since they were in the basement and L has told me that that can be dangerous since the ceiling/stairs/etc. can collapse and trap them.  Soon though, I saw him exit the house and casually make his way to rehab.  He was totally fine.  Thank God.

Turns out the other guy had gotten steam burns on his legs (apparently this can happen when their gear gets so wet) – he was the first of their team to go down the stairs and had told L to back out when he was burning.  L and the rest of the guys couldn’t back out in time so this guy basically just climbed over them.  He’s been checked out and has seen the doctor and will be fine.

After that they decided to let the house go.  At this point, everyone comes out and they just let it burn.  The only thing they really do is monitor the house and the area around it to make sure nothing else catches on fire and it doesn’t spread. 

After that we packed up, headed back to the station and cleaned up some there.  I think we finally got home at around 5:30.  It was definately a long and exhausting day.  But still fun.

Some pictures from the day:

The house before they got started

L and I before the fire

Just getting started

L in rehab after his first time in

The rehab station

“Me! Me! Pick me! I want to go in the basement!”

More beautiful plantation shutters that didn’t get saved

Suited up and ready to go in again

Waiting for his team to get the signal to go downstairs

The rest of his team following him in

After everyone was out and they let it go

What was left when they were done

Sunday L had to go to work, but didn’t have to leave till 5.  We slept in for awhile and then began working on the fence some more.  We’ve almost finished one side of the fence.  We could have gotten farther along, but had to completely redig one of the holes by hand because it was some how off the line for some reason.  We also ran out of posts and rails too.  But I was happy with what  we got done.  I just can’t wait to get it done.

But the frogs.  Oh the frogs.  When I was using the post hole digger to fix one of the holes, I pulled out not one, but TWO little frogs from the hole.  I somehow managed not hurt them and just scooped them up.  I really don’t like all the creatures I’ve been encountering during this project.  Last week I found a small turtle and a large slug (GROSS!).  Yesterday, I found three more slugs.  Ugh.

I’ve also been working on cleaning up the once wooded area in the back so we can put grass seed down soon before it gets too cold.  We cleaned this up last summer but didn’t get the seed done.  I absolutely refuse to do all this work again next year.  So hopefully we can get the seed down this weekend or something.

If You Were My Checkbook, Where Would You Be?

I hardly ever use my check book.  I couldn’t even tell you the last time I broke it out.  I just have no need for it on a regular basis.  I pay all my bills online and that’s about it.  But there is that time every now and then when I need it.  And now is one of them.  And I just can’t freakin find it!

I looked for it a couple weeks ago when I needed to write a check to cover my health insurance premium to make sure my coverage remained intact since I was laid off.  I was quite unsuccessful, but luckily I just transferred some money to my mom and she wrote the check for me (I feel like such a child saying that).

But now I need it to set up a direct deposit.  No, I haven’t gotten a job, but fortunatley you can now have your unemployment benefits directly deposited into your checking account.  So obviously, I need my own check. 

I’m not at a complete loss though.  If you don’t set up a direct deposit, they send you a special debit card that you can use.  I was a little worried that this debit card was going to scream “Hi! I’m unemployed!”  But luckily, it doesn’t.  I guess if you know what the debit cards look like, you would know, but if you don’t, it’s pretty inconspicuous.  Just a regular Master Card debit card that has a picture of a cardinal and says North Carolina across the top in pretty writing.

Ok.  The debit card idea is fine and I got it today so for the first time I finally have access to my funds.  It will just be so much easier to have it in my regualr account which is why I have to find that damn checkbook.

But I do have one issue with their little debit card program.  You are charged the usual ATM surcharges unless you use a Wachovia ATM.  No biggie, they’re all over the place since they are headquartered in Charlotte.  However, you can only get TWO free ATM withdrawls PER MONTH.  Even if it is at Wachovia.  After that, it’s $1.50 per withdrawl.  I know that’s an average ATM fee, but seriously, you only get TWO per month?!  This is for people who are UNEMPLOYED.  Every penny counts. 

I don’t even get cash out of the ATM that often, but it still annoys me.  Maybe it’s to deter people from spending the money on lottery tickets and such.  But still.  What about people with kids who might need money for school and all.  Anyway.  That’s just me.  I find it annoying and greedy.

Moving on…  off to turn the house upside down looking for my check book.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

A couple weeks ago I was contacted by a woman who works for a company that sells beautiful mirrors and other home decor.  She told me she was looking for bloggers to review a product from their website – and I happily obliged!

I perused through the site and their is tons of really great stuff.  I finally decided to choose the Chatham Wall Mirror to review.

Image courtesy of CSNmirrors.com

So once I recieve the mirror, I’ll do a review and let you guys know what I think!

Beached

L and I had the most wonderful weekend at the beach.  We got there a little after lunch time on Friday and left early Monday afternoon.  The whole weekend?  Absolute bliss.  Friday was a little cloudy, but every other day was the aboslute perfect beach weather.  Not too hot.  Not too cold.  Just. Perfect.

The most interesting part?  It was the weekend after Labor Day, so one can say that the “beach season” is over, yet it was very, very crowded.  Spring break crowded.  But with one minor difference.  L and I were probably the youngest ones there by AT LEAST 25 years.  Yes, twenty-five years.

You see, L’s parent’s condo is in the heart of Shagging country – the kind of old school partner dance to beach music.  About two years ago, one of my friends introduced me to beach music by way of a Chairmen of the Board concert and I’ve loved it ever since.  And whenever we go to the beach, there’s always that hint of Shag, even if it’s just the pictures on the walls of the bars. 

But this weekend was different.  This weekend was the SOS Fall Migration.  SOS stands for Society of Stranders.  The Myrtle Beach-area, mostly North Myrtle Beach (I believe) is referred to as the Strand.  I believe the short version of the SOS history began in 1989 when a guy who was an NMB lifeguard in the 50s started this one time festival for all those that loved beach music and shagging.  Thousands decended upon NMB and shagged and partied for 10 days.  Then it was repeated the next year, and soon after that SOS became a real organization and now they do this 3-4 times a year.  People from shag clubs from all over (mostly the Carolinas and the southeast, but other places too) come together to keep the dance alive and enjoy being with friends.  L put it best when he said it was the AARP spring break on steroids.

But you know what?  We had the most fantastic time.  A long time ago I asked L if we could take shagging lessons before some big party we might throw as a celebration next year and he agreed.  But this weekend made me so much more excited about it.  They all just have so much fun dancing.  The condo balconies were strung with the banners from Shag clubs and the beaches were filled with people our parent’s age and older playing cornhole, drinking, swimming and tanning.  But those taht weren’t on the beach were in the clubs.  There were Shag workshops beginning at 10am and from our condo we could see people overflowing off the patio of the bar across the street as early as 11am.  

The fall migration began on Friday, but was really in full swing by Saturday.  We walked  into the bar across the street on Saturday evening around 8pm.  It was crowded, but we were determined to find a table because we wanted to eat there for dinner.  As we walked up, there was a gentleman at the door.  L starts to reach for his wallet, assuming that he was there to card, but instead the man asked for our SOS membership cards.  L told him we didn’t have them and he said, ‘just go in anyway.’ 

Later, when we made friends with a well-known Shag DJ, the head of the SOS organization and another SOS member, we learned that you pretty much need to have a card to get into these places.  Apparently we were just lucky. 

We were able to listen to some outdoor concerts they had and a street festival on Monday too.  Very unexpected, but fun events!

Besides that, we took the puppies for two 5 mile walks on the beach and they got to swim a lot too, we ate in our favorite seafood town twice, drove up to Sunset Beach and Ocean Isle just to see it since I had never been (and perhaps secretly wanted to see if there would be any potential places for that party we might have next year – shh, don’t tell L.  I tired to convince him that that wasn’t on my mind – but I’m pretty sure he knew it was:).

I totally didn’t want to go home Monday, but alas, all things must come to an end.  I guess there are some perks to being unemployed though since we were able to go for almost 4 days!

Here are some photos and videos from the weekend:

Burying L’s feet in the sand

Sunrise walk on the beach

Shep layed down in the water while some other people stopped to talk to us on our walk

Early eveining is one of my favorite times on the beach.  L and I headed out before dinner to share a bottle of wine.  He’s just learning to appreciate wine, so we started off with my favorite “beginner’s wine” – white zin, or kool-aid wine   I’m not gonna lie, I still love it!

At the bar we weren’t supposed to be able to get in to.  Right before this picture, a lady sitting next to us leaned over and said, “excuse me, did you drink ALL of those beers?”  L just laughed and said “Yes, and a bottle of wine before we came.” The lady laughed and made some comment about her days of being able to do that were over.  It was funny and she was very nice.  These Shaggers are just so personable and nice!

The water tower has Shaggers painted on it.  Supposedly this was a historic moment and it was lit up for the very first time – although I swear it looked like this every other time we’ve been there.

 
Shep swimming in the ocean – he had a great time and was actually swimming until he got pummelled by a few waves.  Also, I really didn’t want to put myself in a bathing suit on here, but our puppies are just too darn cute!

Dixie swimming.  She didn’t like it quite as much as Shep – but it’s funny to watch her leap over the waves.

abcdefG??????

I’m watching the second half of the Today Show with Hoda and Kathie Lee Gifford where they do segments on gossip, fashion, etc.  They just finished a story on choosing the correct bra to flatter your figure.  They put this one lady in a very pretty purple bra that had a little rhinestone in the middle.

Then the woman says, “…and this comes in sizes up through G.”

Wait, say what?  G?  There is a size G?

I mean, I guess I’ve seen some woman who are probably that size.  You know, the one’s whose bra could probably cover your head, even if you had some hugh 80s hairstyle.  I guess I just never thought about it.  Plus, I’ve never even been near that end of the size spectrum, as most of my bras are padded so I don’t look prepubecent.

Just Call Me Forrest

What?  I’m actually making progress on my running?  No way!  That 5k is starting to seem more realistic every day.  Last week I ran a mile without stopping for the first time in my entire life.  And then, I did it again.  I was so impressed and proud of myself.

On Monday, I met L at the fire station where we worked out for 30 minutes and then finished up with a run outside.  We did our own thing at the gym and I was finishing up just after him.  I tried to increase the weight a little on a couple of the things I did, so I did the same on my last routine.  I was doing those things where you hold a weight behind your head and lift it up – to work on the jiggly, underside of your arm (triceps, I believe is he correct term).  When we first started doing this a couple weeks ago, I used a 5lb weight, but realized it was a little too easy, so I moved on to an 8lb weight.  Monday I was going to go for the 12lb-er.  That’s when L just looked at me and was like, “um, no.  Use the 25lb one.”  Was he crazy?  I can’t lift 25lbs up and down behind my head.  “You’re selling yourself short, I know you can do it.  You’re a lot stronger than you think.”  So I went for the 20lb one and you know what?  I did it.

We headed over to wear we run and walked a half mile first.  I was tired, but didn’t want to admit it.  We started running and weren’t too far into when L mentioned how heavy his legs felt.  Oh thank God, it wasn’t just me.  I barely made it a half mile, but when I made the turn it felt better – for about 30 seconds.  It was rough.  We finished up the mile and didn’t stop and kept going.  Our goal was to finish a mile and a half.  And we did.  But I will not deny that I almost didn’t make it.  And possibly grunted like a cave man during the last two tenths of a mile.

BUT.  Not only did I do a mile, but I did a mile and a half.  During the grunting phase of the run, L kept telling me that he would give me a 30 minute back massage if I made it.   After we finished, he confessed he didn’t think I was going to make it because I had already said I was going to quit.  But I didn’t.  Woo, go me!

Yesterday, I went out by myself and did it again.  This time there was no grunting.  And this time I also didn’t do a mile and a half.  I did 1.8 miles!  If I hadn’t have eaten dinner earlier, I think I could have made it the whole two miles.  I couldn’t believe it.  The two mile mark was in sight this time. 

The 3.1 miles is getting closer and closer.  And I still have about 51 days to practice!  I don’t want to keel over as I’m crossing the finish line, and I know I’ll probably be one of the last runners, but as long as I finish, that’s all I care about.  And I still have plenty of time to improve some.

Oh, and I can practice in a lovely environment this weekend.  At the beach!  I really thought that when L called his mom she was going to say the condo was already being used, but it’s not!  I really can not describe just how excited I am to go this weekend.  We’re definitely going Friday – Sunday.  L is scheduled to work at his pt job on Monday, but he’s going to see if he can switch it for another day so we can stay through Monday.   The beach makes me happy!

Maybe It’s Better This Way

I still get all the gossip from my old workplace.  And it just keeps getting better and better.  A few weeks ago I found out they all got a 10% pay cut.  Then one of my friends gave her notice and is taking on a full-time position at a part-time job she’s had.  And today I saw an interesting facebook status message about lots of arguing going on in the office this morning.  When I inquired, my friend told me about this huge argument that started between an account manager, the boss and a vp in the hallway where it lasted for almost an hour before they moved into the boss’ office for another hour and counting.

The interesting part about all of this is the account manager.  He is not one to argue loudly.  Or argue at all, really.  He is an incredibly smart guy, but he’s pretty laid back.  He makes it known when he doesn’t agree with something, but often times will just let it go if people are being stubborn.

While chatting back and forth with my friend about this, she sends me another message saying that she just found out that one of our other friends was laid off via a letter in the mail.  Yes, in the mail.  This week was her last week of maternity leave.  I can’t believe he has done this.  I didn’t even think that was legal, but the friend I was getting all this info from was one of the other women that just had a baby.  She said that since our office has less than 50 people, it’s easier to get away with stuff like that.  However, if this woman chose to sue because of this, she probably could.  And I hope she does.

Maybe it’s better that I’m gone.  Although I would definitely love the paycheck, I know that the morale there is terrible and life would be a living hell every day. At least I have my sanity.

This and That

Wow.  So it’s been awhile since I posted.  But frankly, when one doesn’t have a job,  I just don’t always have a lot to say.  I will say though that I’ve been able to fill up my days better than I thought I would and some other exciting things have happened too (no, L has not proposed).

- L and I booked a trip to Cabo for next July!  Yes, the girl without a job just booked a 8 day/7 night trip to Cabo at a 4 star all-inclusive resort.  Actually, this trip has been in the works for 3 years now.  My friend LM once said that if she wasn’t seriously dating someone by her 30th birthday, that we were all going to go to Cabo to celebrate her birthday in lieu of a bachelorette party.  Well, a year from next month, LM will be turning 30, and since no boyfriend is in the picture, we’re packing our bags.  But frankly, I pretty sure we would have gone anyway.  At first it was just a girls trip, but then she invited boyfriends/husbands as well.  Invitations went out and the estimated cost was between $1500 and 2000 including airfare.  Yes, meals and even alcohol are included as well, but still, that is a lot of money!   Then two weeks later I lost my job.  L said he wasn’t going if it was that expensive and he would help me pay my way since we’ve been planning this for so long.  Well, LM went to actually book the trip and we got an amazing deal – this trip, including everything is no longer $2000 – but a mere $900.  Whoa!  So excited.  And L is coming too!

- And since we’ll be spending a week by the pool, we’ve got to get in shape (and you know, maybe something else will be next year too that we will want to look our best for).  So L and I have started working out at the gym at the vol FD.  The crazy thing?  I actually enjoy it and look forward to it.  Wow.  Never thought I’d say that.

-The other day it was so nice out, we had a cool spell and I just wanted to be outside.  Rather than working out at the gym, we decided to go run outside.  Oh yeah.  Remember that?  How I was going to try to run?  Well, that kind of fell by the wayside when it was like 95+ degrees everyday.  You know what else happened that day?  I ran a WHOLE mile.  Without stopping.  Yes, yes.  A mile is not much.  But to me, it is HUGE.  Never before have I done this.  Don’t get me wrong, the end was painful and I’m sure I was a sight to see, but I still did it.  For the first half of the run, it actually felt GOOD.  And I thought to myself, ohhh, this is why people do it.  I really think the working out L and I have been doing has helped a lot. 

-I still want to do the Cooper River Bridge Run in April and have a long way to go, but I’ve decided I need smaller goals in between.  On Halloween morning, we’ll be doing a 5K around the airport and part of it is even on one of the runways.  And in December we’ll be doing another one.

- And what’s crazier – yesterday I ran a mile AGAIN.  By myself.  I didn’t even have L there to push me.  Very early on I didn’t think I was going to make it, but I just kept pushing myself.  It was incredible.

-In other news, I’ve taken the puppies to the park a lot, I’ve been doing other On Demand workouts and I’ve been searching for a job.

-I’ve found lots of jobs to apply for, but just haven’t really gotten anywhere with them.  I just want an interview!  Fingers crossed I’ll find something soon.

-L ended up with next Friday-Sunday completely off work.  I’m crossing my fingers that his parent’s beach condo is available and we can go.  We haven’t been to the beach since June and I’m itching to put my toes in the sand.

-And that’s about it!

Outrageous

I’m sitting here perusing some blogs and looking for job postings and have the news on in the background.  A story just came on that really irks me.  Soon (I can’t remember when since I was doing too many things at once), US Air will start charging $20 for the first bag checked.

Seriously? 

$20 for ONE checked bag?

Come on, people. 

Oh, and that’s only if you check your bags online – which I didn’t even know you could do.  Anyway, if you check them in at the airport, it’s $5 more.

Ok fine.  You need to charge more because you’re losing money.  But now you’re going to charge more to do it at the airport? 

Sometimes I don’t know if I”m going to check a bag until right before I leave.  It depends on what I can fit into what bags.

Also, with all this charging for bags, it causes havok on the plane and makes the boarding process so much longer because people don’t want to pay the fees and try to shove huge bags in compartments that they don’t fit in.  Or people who can’t manage to lift their bag above them try to and block the aisle and oh my God can’t you just sit down and fasten your seatbelt so we can go???

Perhaps this will go the way of the fees for soda and water.  Since you know, that was dumb too and they went back to it being free.

On a side note, I think all the additional charges are completely absurd anyway.  Don’t tell me that the fuel costs more during Thanksgiving than other times.  Because I don’t think that’s true yet you’re still trying to charge me $600 to fly from NC to NY.  Yeah. Not cool.

Annnd, speaking of crazy ticket prices.  Why were tickets to Cabo $230 last Monday and as of last Tuesday they are $450?  Because, I don’t know, we may have just booked a week long trip to Cabo for next July to celebrate LM’s 30th bday.

Ok.  I’ll end my random tangent.

It’s The Little Things

L’s mom and I didn’t exactly start things off on the right foot.  She didn’t like the fact that I was Catholic, a Yankee and an only child, but over time things have gone from terrible to pretty good.  She even says nice things to me about 98 percent of the time.

Anyway.  L went home Thursday night and came back late Friday night.  His mom sent some leftovers from dinner back with him for me.  On the bag she wrote “Missed you!”  It’s just the little things that mean the most to me.

It made me smile.

Shep

Yesterday, Shep had his eye surgery.  I was a ball of nerves the day before, that morning and all afternoon.  Even though the doctor and the vet tech seemed to make it out like it was no big deal – “The doctor will just go in, snip it out and that will be it,” the vet tech told me when I made the appointment – I was still very nervous that something would go wrong.

We had to drop him off by 8:30 and since we were travelling in the direction of rush hour, we had to leave at around 7:15.  Shep and Dixie were a little confused that morning.  L brought them in from going out side and they both ran to their crates like normal, waiting for breakfast.  Well, Shep wasn’t allowed to eat so we didn’t feed Dixie till we got home to be fair.  We called Shep out of his crate, and Dixie came too.  I told her to go back in and Shep went to.  It was pretty funny.  Finally, L took Shep by the leash, we put Dixie in her crate and headed out.  She definitely looked confused as to why Shep was going with us and she was staying home.  They rarely are apart from each other.  In fact, the only time they are apart is when they have to go to the vet for their own individual ailments.

We checked him in and paid the 75% deposit of the estimated cost.  Fortunately, we were able to save up just about all of the money we thought we would need and would have to put a very, very small amount on a credit card.  We waited in the waiting room for them to come get him and Shep sat there and whined the whole time.  I don’t think he was nervous, that’s just what he does.  He whines for no reason.  In anycase, the vet tech, who is extremely nice, came to get him and talked to us for a few minutes.  Then she let us hug him and pet him all we wanted before she took him back.  That made me really happy.  When we took them to get fixed (at our regular vet, yesterday we were at the specialist), they took them back without even letting us say anything – perhaps because it is such a routine surgery.

Anyway, she told us that he would probably be done around 3 or 4.  I went home while L went to a meeting.  When I walked in the door, I could hear Dixie’s tail hitting the crate as she wagged it.  But with the sound of only one tail wagging, it was much quieter.  I let her out of her crate and she was her usual excited self, but she kept going to the garage door like she was looking for Shep.  When we came back in from outside, she ran and jumped up and down the hallway like normal, but usually Shep and her are playing.  It was weird to see her doing it on her own.  For the next little while she layed around and looked sad.

When L got home she greeted him at the door and kept looking behind him for Shep.  She also kept smelling us like “I know you were with him. Where is he?”

The vet tech called us at about 2:45 telling us that Shep was ready and could be picked up after 3:30.  She then put the doctor on the phone to talk to me.  He told me that he took some of the growth out, but not all of it and that he was doing ok.  He said something about having the oncologist look at it and sending it out to the lab to be tested.

I was mad.  And so was L.  They were supposed to take the entire growth out.  That’s what we decided to do.  At our last appointment the doctor said there was no point in just doing a biopsy and that while he was under anestesia, he would just take it out.  The reason was because there was no point in putting him under a second time to take it out.  Doing it all at once would save us money, but more importantly, it would put less stress on his body.

When we got there, we planned to talk to the doctor again to ask this question.  We ended up talking to the vet tech and she told us that they absolutely were going to take the whole thing out, but that it had grown more since our last visit and the doctor just couldn’t get it all.  You can’t see it when you look at him straight on anymore, just if you pull the corner of his eye or if he is looking in a certain direction. 

We got two types of pills he has to get and an eye ointment he has to get 2-3 times a day.  We should hopefully get the results back from the lab on Monday and will have to go back in in 2 weeks for a recheck.

On a positive note, since they couldn’t take the whole thing out, it wasn’t as expensive and we still have $300 left (which we’ll save for any further treatment).

She brought him out and he wagged his tail when we saw us, but you could tell he was definitely still a little loopy and tired.  He doesn’t have a patch or a cone or anything.  We left and L had to pick him up into the truck (although, that’s not really unusual.  He’s kind of lazy and rarely will jump into the truck).  At first he sat up and stared straight ahead.  Then within 5 minutes, he was laying down sleeping.

Once we were home, we had to hold Dixie so she wouldn’t tackle him and hurt his eye.  They play so rough.

Later on, L left to go to his parents house for the night and today and I went to dinner for a bachelorette party.  While there, I got a call, but didn’t recognize the number so I didn’t answer.  I checked my voicemail and it was the doctor again.  He said that he didn’t think that it was a fatty tumor (which is what he thought all along).  To me, this is bad news because if it were a fatty tumor, it wasn’t really dangerous according to him.  He said we need to figure out what kind of tissue it is, which is what the results from the lab will tell us.  He took out as much of it as he could, but it has grown significantly and that if we need to go in and get the rest it would entail taking his eye out, but that’s something that we’ll get to talk about with him.  He said to call him back today, but L isn’t home, so I guess we’ll wait till Monday when he hopefully calls us with the lab results.  I don’t know if the eye removal is permanent or if they can put it back in.  One of my friends I was with last night (who used to work at an animal hospital) said that they can put it back in. 

I just hope that he’s ok and it’s nothing too serious.  I love my Shep and I don’t want anything bad to happen to him.

Then I started to get really upset with me and L.  Our last appointment was as the end of May when we decided to have it removed.  But because it was so expensive we decided to try and save half the money and put the other half on a credit card.  At the end of July, I called to make the surgery appointment – the receptionist could have gotten us in that next week, but we waited almost another month so it would be after we went to CT and we’d have a little more cash.  I know this all sounds like a good plan, and it was. 

But also in that time we bought a new laptop and just put the entire cost on L’s credit card.  We needed a new laptop, but we didn’t really need  it right away.  We got it because it was on a really good sale and there was a limited amount.  Once we got the computer and the extended warranty and something else, it came to about $1000.  The same amount that we were trying to save for Shep’s surgery.

I became so mad that we were selfish enough to put that much money for ourselves on his credit card, but we wouldn’t do it for Shep’s surgery.  The computer was sort of an impulse buy.  We talked about getting one at somepoint.  Then we were in Best Buy and I saw this one on sale.

If we would have just done the surgery in May or June and put it on his credit card instead of the computer, perhaps it wouldn’t have gotten so big and they could have take it all out.  L is trying to tell me not to blame us.  That we’re doing everything we can for him.  And I know we are and I know we will.  But I just get so mad that I was so selfish.  And it didn’t even cross my mind when we were buying it (Ohh! New computer! It’s shiny! And new!), but after we got home I thought about the computer vs. surgery thing.

But, I’m going to think positive.  And cross my fingers that everything will be ok.

I love my puppy.  Who happens to be laying with his head on my lap and snoring as I type this.